Home
listen up   
09:24pm 25/06/2005
  ATTENTION ATTENTION!

New lj account.!.!.

destroybeauty__ ADD IT UP...if you love me.		  
     
9 put the spike in my heart| And you must keep your soul like a secret in your throat...
 
   
10:52pm 19/05/2005
  Dear Journal,
go fuck yourself.


Thank you.		  
     
4 put the spike in my heart| And you must keep your soul like a secret in your throat...
 
Who am I now?   
10:32pm 04/04/2005
 
mood: numb
music: Light With a Sharpened Edge- The Used
Read this if you really want to know what's going through my head.
I'm given an option but how am I supposed to know what's best for me? I listen to others, and then when I finally come to a decision, what I say doesn't matter because it's not what I think right? It's just a reflection of what you told me. Umm, okay.

Hello, my name is Amanda. I'm sorry but my dna doesn't match yours. I'm not you! I have different ways to make myself different, nor do I want to be the same as anyone, who does. I'm not trying to be like anyone, I'm not following anyone. I'm just doing what I can for myself, by that I mean considering the positive things in my life and keeping them there. It's supposed to be a good thing right? To think of my future? To be prepared, to not keep falling down when there's no one to catch me. I mean I don't usually care, wow, past 2 months I was even disgusted with myself.

I just need to know I have people there for me to talk to. Who wants the feeling of being left alone? Or keeping every thought to yourself to a point you can't handle your problens. And never stop your train of thought, if you have something to say just say it. I will listen, that doesn't mean I'll believe everything you say, I'm not a robot. Seriously, don't you think I have a brain? I can think for myself, I'm not a baby, I didn't just come into this world. I know what's going on, I don't depend on just one person to live my life.

I'm definitely not one to change myself for someone else's advantage either. Don't get me wrong, but just because you see people always making a fool out of themselves out there, that doesn't mean I will. You still need to get to know me more. I even have to get used to myself, because truth be told, lately I've scared myself a lot. But we all say things we wish we didn't say. Maybe at the time we didn't understand the words, just like you don't sing the words if you don't know what they mean. You look like a fool. I'm not fake.

Lately since Winter I've made more friends then I could ever imagine. I couldn't even picture myself this way. I was always the shy girl, an outcast of society. But I found myself, And I will never regret meeting anyone. I always thought my life would hopefully end before it got worse. But that just causes it to get worse. I've learned to believe, and believe in other people. Knowing you can do it is the first step. The rest is just up to you. And other people or ones who care to help you.

Once again, I'm not like anyone else. Don't ever forget that. Forget me...Or just forget about the girl you think I am.

-Manda		  
     
10 put the spike in my heart| And you must keep your soul like a secret in your throat...
 
   
11:10am 31/01/2004
 

TO BE ADDED, YO NEED TO COMMENT.		  
     
3 put the spike in my heart| And you must keep your soul like a secret in your throat...
 
 
collapsed3
 
 

Advertisement